i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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