wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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