What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm getting married
To pizza
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
