i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
