She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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