I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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