He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
