Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
