Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize