Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
