Your mouth is God's brothel.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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