well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
