That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
