Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
