She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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