she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize