I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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