Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
