Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
