I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
