i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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