I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
smell my finger.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
