Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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