Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
