Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
