if only i could text you this smell
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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