He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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