Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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