We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize