I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
