So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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