I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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