I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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