why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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