i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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