I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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