My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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