Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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