Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
