shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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