yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
3 2 1 whiskey
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
