I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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