oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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