he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
