he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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