I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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