I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
