I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
