Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
