How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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