I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
