Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
