What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
PANTIES FOUND
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
