I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
