Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
