so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
