Christians are straight up FREAKS
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
