I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this will be a night to untag.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
