R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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