is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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