So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
