I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
