If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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