Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
