Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
