Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize