So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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