Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
