How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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